I'd feel really sorry for myself, but I'm too damn happy. I've got three friends, all travelling and/or inaccessible for the next week (or two). Mark left for vacation the other day, Jen leaves tomorrow, and Nori left yesterday on one of her whirlwind tours. Actually, I should really only count two people being inaccessible, since I really mostly deal with Nori online anyway, so whether she's just downtown, or on another coast, it's pretty simliar. Still, right now I'm just being greedy for company. This is complicated by being dreadfully broke.

Had a lovely dinner with Donna and Alexis last night. They were kind enough to indulge me in my somewhat emotionally intoxicated state. I tried to explain to them some of what's transpired in the past few days, but I think I did a horrible job. I think the signifigance of what happened really only looms large for me, which probably shouldn't be such a huge revelation. My life is in transition right now, and I find my take on things almost adolescent, with such dramatic highs and lows (well, really not too many lows), and everything feels very raw and exposed. I suppose this is par for the course during a period of discovery. I'm rather quite enjoying it. It's a nice change from the cool and detached way I have generally been throughout my life. Though, sometimes I do feel isolated in the depth of my personal experience. Like I said, very adolescent, but hopefully, not insufferable.

I apologize that I'm a being elusive about what's going on. Some of it is timing. My ex-wife and I have only been living apart for three months or so. Part of my silence is out of consideration and respect for her feelings. We are still close, and I don't want to make this transitional time any more difficult than it already is. The other part of my hesitation is the the impact of adding something rather adult to these pages. Writing about Clan Lord and gadgetry, and various other personal stuff is one thing, but what's going on with me is not something even remotely typical, and some people might even be disturbed by it. It's also really a topic meant for adults. I don't think that means it shouldn't be examined, though. By sharing my experience here, it might help another person on the threshold of a similiar path. But, I am a bit concerned it's quite a huge shift from the usual material. I'm very close to crossing the line, so be ready.

At dinner last night, like it always does in the company of those two, the conversation often turned to all things Clan Lord. In particular Clan Lord related mailing lists. Between the high volume of the government list, and the ever increasing noise of the Tenebrion list, there's plenty to bitch about. Actually, I really barely follow the government list any more, because the goal has more to do with intellectual posturing, and less to do with adding fun to the game. The Tenebrion list is useful, but I'd love to have a ruler to smack the fingers of all the nitwits making "Me too!" posts, or adding "clever" little jokes. People seem to forget how quickly list traffic degrades list quality. It's the tragedy of the commons. Much like the old war conservation slogan, people should ask themselves "Is this post really necessary?" before they hit the send button.

Oh, and I really owe a response to the folks at Alchera. My apologies to them. I'll catch up this weekend.
posted 10:41 AM | link |