"So how did your 'thing' go?" she asked, as we shared an after-work drink.
"My 'thing?' You mean the novice outing?"
"Yeah, how was it? What went on?"
"It was fun. I learned I'm not a novice..."

Though, I still really am in some respects. But being a novice in anything is usually a relative thing. And when you're with people who are truly new to something, you begin to view your own experience in a different light. More like "How did I get all the way over here..."

Last night's drink was a welcome one. I was grateful for the encouraging words of a friend. Sometimes I feel like I'm completely spinning my wheels with my life. It's so hard for me to accept the assessment of others who see things otherwise. I have the same conversation in reverse with a few of my other good friends: "You're being ridiculous. You just don't see your own strengths, and you obsess about imagined failings." Yet, somehow, when someone says that to me, I'm convinced they don't know they are talking about, and their just being nice. There's a lesson in this, but I just can't put my finger on it yet...

(I hate cryptic entries, but I'm still trying to decide what should go here and what shouldn't. I'm trying to nudge myself over an invisible line. When one stares deep into the depths of one's bellybutton, one loses a bit of perspective. In this case, the "one" is me. Thanks for your patience.)
posted 12:40 PM | link |