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Friday, November 17
Tips For Irate Email:
1. Caps lock 2. Exclaimation points 3. Threats of violence 4. Send to the entire company --- Extra Credit --- 5. Use big typeface 6. All red 7. Attach obscene picture I wrote this on a whiteboard near my desk, after one of the slightly unrestrained egos in the company decided to throw a hissy and composed an email that did the first four items on that list. I kid you not, 29 exclaimation points in a row. If he had used 30, then we would have really known he was pissed. Nothing says "professional" and "articulate" like an all caps email too. '; } else { if(stristr($filename,"archive")) { $dir=$_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']; $template='_01_archive.html'; $tail=strlen($template); $thisArchive=$filename; //$files=scandir($dir); $dh = opendir($dir); while (false !== ($filename = readdir($dh))) { $files[] = $filename; } sort($files); $earlyarch=""; $laterarch=""; $prevarch=""; $next=0; foreach($files as $file) { if (substr($file,-$tail)==$template) { if ($next==1) { $laterarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; $next=0; } if ($file==$thisArchive) { $next=1; } else { $prevarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; } } } $link=''; $divider=''; if(file_exists($earlyarch)) { $link='< Earlier Archive'; $divider=" | "; } if(file_exists($laterarch)) { $link=$link.$divider.'Later Archive >'; } $link=$link.' '; } } echo($link); ?> |