/curse Alchera
Well, no, not seriously. Just that what I feared would happen is. This damn woman has sucked me into her trap, and like a fly in a pitcher plant, the more energy I expend, the deeper I get sucked into it. Conny's got a such a good group of people around her, and in spite of the effort and frequenty frustrations, it's really rewarding. I also think being a good SM top makes you a good GM too, so it works well.


Thank you Ma'am
So how do two people who switch (that's SM roles not positions) figure out who's in charge? A good question. One that you want to resolve, or each scene loses a lot of energy in the power struggle. Is she really resisting because she wants to dominate me, or she just enjoying resisting? What's a switch to do?

What's needed is a way to define who in charge for the time being. The traditional symbol of servitude in SM is the collar. When someone puts a collar on you, it's clear you are submitting to that person. I've got a nice leather collar with a small metal ring at the center for a leash that does nicely for this. If you see me with Conny and I'm wearing a big turtleneck sweater, it's probably to conceal the collar. Conny is nice in that she understands I have to be somewhat discreet at work, and lets me cover it. Mind you, the entire time I feel it, and I'm reminded of my current position. She, on the other hand, can play hers off as a pretty little choker, and wears her proudly. Things aren't so easy as a guy.

The rules of the game are the collar stays on until the other person takes it off. This can be for as short as a few hours, or as long as several weeks. This might not seem like a big deal, but imagine being collared for a period of two weeks without permission to have an orgasm, and that collar gets really tight. While collared, I'm supposed to do what she says. When she's collared, she's supposed to do what I say. And really, I'm not sure which situation is more fun.

What is a delight in this arrangement is the balance. While I punish Conny for some transgression, and I push her hard, I realize that she's going to feel the need to push me just as hard when she's on top, which both motivates and excites me.

I have a sneaking suspicion that she's not going to uncollar me once we get to Munich. I won't complain.
posted 1:32 AM | link |