Like corn through my intestines

I know no one give a crap about techie wire head posts, unless you too happen to have a blog that uses blog voices. So I don't consider those two earlier posts a real entry, and seeing how I missed yesterday, I better get crackin'. I beg the patience of my kind reader. Since Conny left, I find myself getting overwhelmed by simple things, like opening a can of soda or clicking the "Back" button. So moseying up to the blog and coughing up bits of myself seems quite the daunting task.

I'm slowly starting to snap out of it, though. Having bit-fiddling to do helps quite a bit to distract me.

Tonight I'm heading to T.E.S. without my other half. It's a happy coincidence, actually. The special interest group tonight is the dominant men/submissive women group, and the topic is "Establishing Protocol & Structure." So far, this has been a weak point of mine, so I'm looking forward to it. I may also head to Gomorrah afterwards, even without Conny, though it won't be nearly as much fun. A photographer will be there tonight, showing her work, and she was around during my suspension demo with Nori. So I'm curious to see those shots, and I'm also hoping this photographer might be a good contact for future work on a possible fetish/SM site I'd like to do.

Someone accused me of holding out, seeing as I didn't really provide any details of the last evening Conny and I spent at True, where she was the one in the collar. That night we had a great time overall. The presentation on T.E.S. on switchables was quite good. Because we were going for dinner with some friends from T.E.S. afterwards, we stuck around for the "circle" which is done after the presentation. It's a bit touchy-feely-support-groupish for me, though often times people have some interesting things to say, and this was very true after the switchables presentation. Dinner afterwards was a lot of fun, as a gentleman who's been in the scene and in T.E.S. for quite some time told some great stories. After that, Conny and I headed to Gomorrah, and we were to meet up with a new friend from T.E.S. after he changed into something more pervy.

The evening at Gomorrah was actually pretty low key. Conny got off pretty lightly, mainly because she was feeling a little off as the evening progressed. She did get leashed and led about, as well as having the leather cuffs on her wrists clipped together periodically. But that was about it. We did have a good time, and we had good company, but the mood wasn't right for real mischief. We played a bit after we got home, and that was quite nice... Playing at home is always so much easier...

We noticed that my domination of her tends to involve more sexual contact than her domination of me. I think it really has to do with how sexual contact feels for the respective genders. For a man, sexual contact rarely feels like a violation, it's usually quite welcome. For a woman, sexual contact is intrusive. Men welcome sexual advances, women have to protect themselves from it. Obviously, with a partner a woman is attracted to, a woman will welcome sexual contact too, but the general defaults are true, and are wired pretty deeply. It's a vulnerability thing. That's not to say a woman can't "fuck" a man, or a man can't feel violated, it's just not what most men are used to. A simple example of the dynamic: tie a man down, and start masturbating him, he's going to think "Alright!", tie a woman down, and start masturbating her, she's going to think "Oh my God!" Yes, it's a very simplistic generalization, and hardly a universal, for either individuals or situations, but I think as a general thing, it's true.

This weekend I'll be seeing some fellow Rat Bastards in Boston, and following that, I'm going to see some old friends of mine who I have not seen in ages. It's the first time I'll be seeing some of them since I separated from my wife. It'll be good to catch up with them, but it'll also be hard too. Still, its a healthy thing that I need to do. I've been avoiding it for quite some time because the whole thing was such a tangled mess. A lot of these guys (and their wives) came to our wedding, and many of us got married at about the same time, within a year of each other, really. I'm the first "failure" of the bunch, and hopefully the only one. I never would have thought it in a million years either, so I guess there's a lesson to be had there.
posted 5:00 PM | link |