Sorry, Happy Birthday

Last year around this time, I went to see a performance of the Kids in the Hall. I remember this because it was what I did for my wife, to celebrate her birthday. Though we were headed towards seperation, we made the most of the time we had left, and birthdays and holidays are important to her. We puy thoughts of the uncertain future out of minds, and had a good time.

This all came to mind because I spoke to her last night. This year, I forgot her birthday. More like it snuck up on me, really. Maybe it's the weather, and that it doesn't really feel like April yet, or maybe my mind is just elsewhere. What ever my poor excuse is, she was gracious about it, and provided the most subtle of hints. I'd like to think I recovered from this faux pas somewhat gracefully, but I still feel poorly about it. Even though we are seperated and soon to be divorced, we are still friends and we are still close. I don't know which is worse, though, forgetting her birthday, or if I had actually done something. I want so much to reduce her agony in this whole process, but sometimes such efforts actually make things worse.

We spoke about having dinner, and then both decided it might not be a good idea. We're both happen to be going through a cycle of mourning for the marriage lost right now. Sharing each others company would probably just be painful. It is so hard to know what to do. It is so hard to write about this. It is also a bad idea to write about it work. Enough for now.
posted 9:52 AM | link |