Shake Shake Shake

Nothing like doing something for the first time. There is a bit of irony to savor to coming all the way to Munich to then go to a place called New York Tabledance, which is basically a titty-bar. And, somehow, in all the things I've done so far in my meager life, I haven't managed to find the time to ever visit a strip club before.

It was a bit under mistaken pretenses though. Conny and I were with a group of friends, Peter, Elisabeth and Jürgen. We headed over to Kunstpark on Saturday night to look for some music and dancing. Something lively to get the blood going. At Kunstpark is sort of a safari park of Munich nightclubs. There's gotta be 30 or more of 'em all in one fenced in area. When we evalutating our options, we saw New York Tabledance. No one I was with had been in there, but they had all heard about it. One of Conny's friends had told her about the great time she had there, and so on. We were aware they had girls and guys who stripped, but Conny and I had the impression they were more like go-go dancers. After all, we were looking for a club, not a strip-joint. So, thinking that there would still be good music and dancing, we all gave it a go.

It wasn't cheap to get in. After paying 25 marks (about $12, which is a high cover charge here) we got 2 "New York Bucks" and a coupon for a free drink. Free drink my ass, it turned out to be some shot of some weird house beverage that looked vaguely like tomato juice. No thanks. I thought maybe the New York bucks were for a discount on a regular drink, but they had a different use altogether...

We had arrived a wee bit early, and just as we got our non-free but real drinks, the show started. They introduced the performers, and it was like seeing a case study in breast augmentation. In fairness, they had both guys and girls (and the guys, while not sporting augmented breasts, were the usual hairless hunky wonders that would seem to appeal to a gay guy a lot more than a straight woman, but go figure,) but there were a lot more women dancers.

So one woman hits a long run away with the requisite poles strategically placed, and another occupied small round stage with poles all round it. Think "cage" and you've got the right idea. So for one editted song, they wiggle around, and then the DJ transitions into another song, and the stripping begins.

But now I get to learn what the New York bucks are for. Seems that's how you tip the girls. Don't ask me why they don't just use marks. Maybe it's a legal thing, maybe it's a cleanliness thing, maybe they are just trying to keep the place "classy." Girls will take them with their teeth or with their breasts. It's quite a performance. There's the usual tuck-into-the-g-string thing too. The ladies in the audience, though, get much more for their New York buck. When the guys dance, and a woman wants to tip them, the guy will pull them onto the runway, have them lie down on their backs, and slide up the woman's body and take the dollar out of her teeth, while basically being on top of her. How come the women dancers don't do that?

Of course, it's pretty evident there's a significant sexual difference. The dynamic between the men dancers and the ladies in the audience is mostly campy fun. The male dancers don't seem to be trying to put on a stupid "sexy" face, or pose, they just dance (pretty well too) and smile and laugh, and the women love it, and giggle and smile. The women dancers look more like robots, with these impassive faces that are probably supposed to look hot, while most of the men in the audience almost return the detachment, with vague leers. It wasn't all like this, though, some of the female dancers didn't seem to put on such a heavy act, and some of the guys in the audience were yucking it up in a good natured way.

It's not really my scene. Doesn't do anything for me, really. Now maybe if one girl tied another one up and gave her a good paddling, it would be different. They'd have gotten my New York buck, that's for sure.

I had a good time, because of the company I was in, and it was fun to at least go to a titty bar once. As places like this go, this one was very tame, like if Disney did a strip club. Conny and I called it an early night, while the other three headed off to a more traditional club, Doom, which I was at during my last visit.

But, as far as career moves go, if I spend a few months in the gym, have all my body hair removed, and learn to dance, I just might consider stripping...
posted 9:58 AM | link |