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Monday, July 2

Laws will save us

It's a good thing New York State has banned cellular handset use while driving. Now, if you are driving along, and a cop sees you holding a cellphone next to your head, you can get pulled over and get a ticket. The law still allows you to wave a gun around in your hand while you drive, though.

I say this law doesn't go far enough, really. There are other "driver distractions" that should be banned, all in the name of safety:
  • Applying cosmetics
  • Drinking coffee, or any other beverage
  • Eating, perhaps including the chewing of gum and the enjoyment of breath mints.
  • Tuning the radio or changing a CD
  • Looking at a map, or reading directions
  • Strong smelling car air-fresheners
  • Pointing out interesting aspects of the landscape to passengers
  • Talking to passengers
  • Listening to passengers
  • Striking passengers
  • Having young children in the car (children should probably be placed in the trunk, for everyone's safety)
  • Striking young children in the car
  • Having any passengers in the car, regardless of age
  • Thinking about anything other than driving safely
I just wish the state legislature would have the balls to make a law that would cover all these things, and more: ban stupid people from driving. Problem solved.

But don't ever, ever take away my right to drive and wave a gun around, dammit. Safety is one thing, but I have my rights!

posted 11:27 AM | link |


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