Legal brief: an oxymoron

The firm just sent around an email containing our latest anti-money laundering policy statement. Turns out we're against money laundering. Who knew? I guess that's why new hires are now going to be subjected to an anti-money laundering video. Perhaps it's "Tintin and the Bank of the Opium Cabal," a fine but oft neglected piece of short film.

I also learned from this document, which contains a lot of very earnest all caps text, that there's actually a "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001" on the Federal law books. Good thing they included the year, because otherwise many people would confuse it with the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 1815, or the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism of 1944.

Ah, to be a fly on the wall around the esteemed lawmakers who came up with that doozy of a name.

"No, no, just saying 'strengthening' isn't enough. It needs more punch. More zing."

"How about 'strengthening and uniting'? That has a nice ring to it."

"That's it! But I think 'uniting and strengthening' sounds better."

Now if I could just not think about the fact that these people are actually making the laws too, I could sleep at night.
posted 4:03 PM | link |