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Tuesday, September 24
Crossing paths
Over the weekend I blew my chance to turn pain into money. While on our way to some German festival being held in Central Park, who should we see crossing the street but convicted rapist, documented ear-biter and generally all-around unstable guy, Mike Tyson. Walking along side him closely was an entourage of four guys. When the group walked right by us, I could have been opportunistic / suicidal and shouted out: "Bite any good ears, lately, Mike?" Assuming I survived the wait for the ambulance, a juicy cash settlement could have been a phone call away. Hopefully I wouldn't have had to spend all of it on physical therapy. Alas, I let this chance slip by. I also saw Ric Ocasek, former front man of the Cars, wandering around near Union Square about a week ago, but he's not relevant enough to sue. I only noticed him because he's so hard to miss, being about nine feet tall. '; } else { if(stristr($filename,"archive")) { $dir=$_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']; $template='_01_archive.html'; $tail=strlen($template); $thisArchive=$filename; //$files=scandir($dir); $dh = opendir($dir); while (false !== ($filename = readdir($dh))) { $files[] = $filename; } sort($files); $earlyarch=""; $laterarch=""; $prevarch=""; $next=0; foreach($files as $file) { if (substr($file,-$tail)==$template) { if ($next==1) { $laterarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; $next=0; } if ($file==$thisArchive) { $next=1; } else { $prevarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; } } } $link=''; $divider=''; if(file_exists($earlyarch)) { $link='< Earlier Archive'; $divider=" | "; } if(file_exists($laterarch)) { $link=$link.$divider.'Later Archive >'; } $link=$link.' '; } } echo($link); ?> |