Friday, February 21

Tape and cover

In case of terrorist attack by chemical or biological agents:
  1. Fetch the duct tape from your Department of Homeland Security Preparedness kit.
  2. Grab a plastic bag, such as a trash bag, or even a grocery bag.
  3. Place bag over head.
  4. Wrap tape around neck several times to secure the bag.
  5. Lie down and relax, knowing you will soon be at peace.
Alternative for those without a plastic bag: simply wrap duct tape around your head, being sure to securely cover your nose and mouth.



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