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Monday, December 6
Just what the doctor ordered
My birthday weekend was spent enjoying the brisk but pretty beaches of Long Branch, NJ. The spa hotel we stayed at fed us, massaged us, and even gave me a facial. There's something mighty fine about a swim in a heated pool in the middle of December. Especially after someone has squeezed the crap out of your bulbous, large pored nose. I was told by the woman doing my facial that my skin was in good shape and I was well hydrated. I didn't want to burst her bubble and tell her I was actually hung over and the vast majority of my non-alcoholic hydration comes from Dr. Pepper, not 6 to 8 glasses of water. I bet all that polyethylene glycol is doing wonders for my complexion. '; } else { if(stristr($filename,"archive")) { $dir=$_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']; $template='_01_archive.html'; $tail=strlen($template); $thisArchive=$filename; //$files=scandir($dir); $dh = opendir($dir); while (false !== ($filename = readdir($dh))) { $files[] = $filename; } sort($files); $earlyarch=""; $laterarch=""; $prevarch=""; $next=0; foreach($files as $file) { if (substr($file,-$tail)==$template) { if ($next==1) { $laterarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; $next=0; } if ($file==$thisArchive) { $next=1; } else { $prevarch=$file; $earlyarch=$prevarch; } } } $link=''; $divider=''; if(file_exists($earlyarch)) { $link='< Earlier Archive'; $divider=" | "; } if(file_exists($laterarch)) { $link=$link.$divider.'Later Archive >'; } $link=$link.' '; } } echo($link); ?> |